I just realized something kind of mind boggling.
I don’t ask for promises anymore.
Used to be I’d be told “I’ll be there….” or “Wouldn’t miss it….” or the ever-dreaded, “Soon.”
And, well…he’d not be there, or he did miss it, or “soon” never happened.
So, the next time whichever guy I was dating at the time would say “I’ll be there….” or “Wouldn’t miss it…” or motherfucking “Soon,” I’d respond, “Promise?”
I’d have to secure that promise – because then I could be upset or angry when they didn’t come through. It gave me that right to cry, “But you promised!”
All the apologizing in the world couldn’t fix it. Excuses piled on top of excuses wouldn’t change the fact that their base-level word was not enough, and their promises were fragile at best.
But I don’t ask for promises anymore. Not because I don’t believe in them, but because I don’t have to.
If he says “I’ll be there,” he’s there. If he says “wouldn’t miss it,” he doesn’t miss it. And when he says “Soon,” I know exactly how long “soon” will be. Sometimes to the number of hours.
Five months, and not a single time have I had to ask “promise?”